the drunk and the legless
DUG - dug, (or as he is more commonly known at the pub) las e dog was born upside down in an upside down hospital just down the road from right way up terrace. despite his appalling intellect he slid right through primary school, high school and slid all the way into a pub. times were tough. not many people are looking for a 3 armed shambot as their new store supervisor. thankfully one night in 1901 whilst walking home from the pub he tripped on a guitar and hit his head on a rock. 2 years later he decided to play the guitar and drink beer.
SULL - sull sullivan (born david poolfridge) grew up in the slums of east burriga. 31 hours a day, 364 days a week, having to painstakingly arrange flowers just to feed himself, sull knew nothing about what was in store for him. one day a mysterious women known as "warty bob" took him under her wing and taught him of the amazing feats which could be accomplished whilst under the influence. in 1867 sull enrolled in the james squire college of geometry and became fascinated with circles. this circle interest somehow led him to a pub where he saw a hairy bikey smashin the crap out of some circular objects. it was then he realised his destiny was to get blind and play the drums.
PAT - david boon drank more beer on a plane than anyone ever has. this indicates he enjoys beer just as much as patris matris former captain of the polish curling team. life started out promisingly for this young man who began his studies at harvard at age 4, but rapidly went down hill after his love for curling became a love for drinking. things started looking up again in 2290 when his harvard mates chipped in and bought him a bass. later that night he got drunk and threw the bass at sull. he planned his future on this event.
MUZZ - muzz wasn't born but rematerialized around lunchtime 1503. the local peasants hailed him as their god until the age of 6003 when he moved out of home. he orbed himself to the big city in the year 1980 where convinced people that mullets and fluro clothing were the way of the future. by the time it was was 1990 (around 6pm) he had been bashed so many times that he went to the pub and drank enough beer to create a lagerphone. the locals embraced the new look muzz and he decided to never turn back.
DISCO DAVE – Thought to have been born to an alpaca. Throughout the ages there has never been someone more influential on the world of gymnastics than David Darren Doreen Discology. Way before John Travolta and Saturday night live were around there was disco dave. In 1457 his electrifying afros and stud pressed jackets bought forth the evolution of flares and flowers and when he discovered his sexuality, he was crowned King of Arabia. Disco Dave’s fascination with Jason & his technicolor dream coat eventually brought the king’s rein down. He is now moving into retirement and is considering his future and the purchase of a tugboat business.
The Official D & L MONKEY - The Official Drunk & the Legless Monkey is actually the drummer in the band but because he never turns up to gigs, we don't really rely on him. He was found up a tree in the great roman city, rome. He got mixed up with the wrong type of people and was sent to australia as a convict in 1789 where he opened up his own herbal tea shop. Business was going great until the introduction of females into society where the monkey soon become a pimp. the monkey now has so many STD's that he isn't allowed to visit anyone unless authorised by George Michael.
The TomCat - Often referred to as 'the assassin' due to his daft range on the golf course, the tomcat was built from leftover meatloaf and chick peas. During a surfing expedition in the Northern Territory, the tomcat discovered his love of antelopes and began to construct a museum to remember them by. with assistance from the good people at the kebab shop his dream is now a reality and he is a well respected curator of 'the tomcat museum of all things tomcat'.
Samurai Sword - This authentic Drunk and the Legless Samurai sword was stolen from a guy named Bruce in November of 1732 in the depths of north west Korea.
