the drunk and the legless

home     history     people     chronicles     sounds     guestbook

 
   
 

Dug and his pal Scotty conceived the Drunk

and the Legless as an idea in 1998. At JMC,

Dug and Scotty used the current format of

“The Young and the Restless” to transform

it into an amazing idea for a soap opera,

The Drunk and the Legless.

Soon after, the idea of creating a super band

with the soap name came about. Enter Pat.

Endless hours of mindless work, Pat and Dug

would dream of the creation of this super band

that would take over the world with an out of

tune guitar and a carton of Victoria’s finest, VB.

It was in these early stages that the classic songs

(that never quite ended up as a finished product)

came about. Such songs included “milk comes

in many forms”, “my nork detector”, and “im

scared of butter”.With the addition of Sull, the

drunk and the legless now had a drummer and

there own personal tennis coach. Not long after,

Muzz stumbled into the picture with full intentions

of playing the lagerphone. When the rest of the

band realized that Muzz could play some really

basic cords really badly on the guitar, they told

him to set the lagerphone down and play the guitar.

  

There was Dug playing guitar and blasting out some bad vocals, Sull was hitting them circles, Muzz pretended he could play the guitar and Pat on the bass. But there was one problem; Pat didn’t own a bass. Three weeks, 14 lamington drives and $300 later, Pat picked up his new squire bass and began playing it as badly and as Warrant sound. she's my cherry pie.

 
In early 2001, The Drunk & the Legless officially formed but the laziness of all four members contributed to them still managing to talk a lot of shit about playing but nothing happened until sparky asked them to make their debut performance at his 21st birthday hootenanny. In the space of 3 weeks, those little drunks made up 7 shitty songs and played 10 tracks at sparkys, including a cover of Weezers “El Scorcho”. A crowd of no more than 20 people booed and heckled, Georgie the owner of the pub told us to turn it down, and all this went on as the drunks forgot the words, played the wrong notes and at different speeds. Despite this poor performance, people lied through their teeth and gave ludicrous feedback that suggested that they sounded good.

As the months passed, more beer was being consumed but still no progress was being made. They needed a boost of faith in the fact that they

 

 were one of the crapiest bands around, and then on the 24th November 2001, they rocked Jono’s 21st birthday Hoedown in Bathurst. It started with a bang when pat discovered that his Bass was broken from the previous night when he got a bit out of control and threw it at Sull and the drum kit. Once they overcame that problem, all members of the band where way too blind to play

  

anything hat sounded good, but luckily all of the people that attended were just as bloody drunk and they didn’t notice. The aftermath of these 2 gigs was as follows; for some reason, no matter how bad they played, people seemed to be enjoying what was coming out so they decided to skip off into the sunset and throw down some shithouse recordings. 

T he 24th April a mediocre performance once again some how contributed to a new record being set at the Excelsior for 2 things. 1.      Attendance of over 200 people for a “Grassroots” night    2.      The bar took over $3,000. Never before done on a Wednesday night at the Excelsior. We presume that there is a lot of people out there that are prepared to put up with some really terrible music just to grab a beer. But we’re not complaining.

From this point on, the D & the L concentrated on playing gigs and writing new songs for the drunk and the legless bandwagon was growing ever strongly on the back of an out of control mountain goat and a surprisingly attractive badger.

 

 

After a few more gigs playing to a bunch of monkeys and penguins, the drunk and the legless decided that it was time for tough measures. That is when disco dave walked into the room carrying only his keyboard and a toy panda. For the next few months the d & l were convinced that the way of the music industry was through some high energy keyboard tunes and sequence dance moves choreographed by the one and only David Boon. Obviously Booney had as much idea on how to dance as what the d & l had on sustaining a career in the rock n roll industry. Upsetting news soon came, and it was a sad misfortune to loose Disco Dave but it is obvious that the Japanese office of the Survivors of Panda Sexual Assaults (SoPSA) needed disco more than us…..

Much talk of a gay football player called Ian Roberts led the boys to the topic of a new and improved recording and a possible EP. Obviously lazyness, tutu’s and that doco on gay and lesbian animals meant that this recording was going to take a while. But the sudden departure of muzz who has set his sights on discovering a cure for long term soberness was another setback. But onward the d & l marched.

Many of nights there would be a feeling that there is something in this universe that is missing. When the D & L returned as a 3 piece, everyone new that that void was now gone. The universe is now complete. Another handful of gigs, some played on unicycles lead the D & L to more disturbances.

The departure of yet another member due to Royal duties in Uruguay saw Sull leave the group. Still determined to fight off defeat, dug and Pat introduced the drum machine to the world of the drunkys. The eventual completion of the drunks, as yet untitled first EP and a performance by ‘the drunk and the legelss tribute show’, ensured that these alcoholic lads from Beverley hills were here to stay… in everyone’s heart, in their bottle of beer, in their faeces, in their daughters bedroom, in their cavities but most of all, in their CD players.

After a set of fallopian tubes shouted a round at the pub one evening, the drunk and the legless received news that dug, pat and sull were to be summonsed to the UK for investigation into pubic hair trafficking. They saw this as an opportunity to reach out to all the needy people in the UK, starving for the infectious groves of their favourite ozzie band, the drunk and the legless.  It was this point in time that the drunkys decided to perform a 'cumback/farewell' special. At their old stomping ground, the Excelsior, all members of the d & L performed to a packed crowd of inmates. It was also at this gig that they finally released their debut EP, cleverly entitled 'thou donk in my legsets'.

From here the UK connection of the D &  L made their international debut in London, with a few guests appearances in Ireland and uranus.

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 

email us